Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Defeating the Attacking Dog Part 1: The Collie



Sometimes dogs attack, and I'm going to tell you how to win the battle against an aggressive canine no matter what the breed; and I'm going to tell you how to do it nearly bare-handed.

There are tell-tale signs a canine reveals just before the attack, and you need to know these signs if you have any hope of success in defending against it. When a dog foams at the mouth, it's going to attack; when a dog scratches at the ground, staring menacingly into your eyes, it's going to attack; when a dog howls at the moon, it's going to attack; when a dog barks at you, it's going to attack; and when a dog sniffs the air in your direction, it's going to attack.

First, we're going to look at the attacking Collie and the techniques it implements during the attack. A Collie is a breed covered in a thick coat of down like fur; don't be fooled by this soft, fuzzy facade. A Collie, beneath the cuddly exterior, is an animal quivering with thick muscle and reinforced bone that can be used to savage it's victim in a matter of seconds. The Collie usually foams at the mouth before it attacks, this is due to its diet of mostly milk proteins. the proteins gurgle to the surface when a Collie becomes enraged, producing a milky froth that surrounds the animal's muzzle. If you keep your wits about you, you'll have no problem stopping the animal before it can clamp it's jaws around your throat.

The Collie will first dart away from you after it produces it's froth, giving you the sense that the animal is retreating. It will circle around the house after you've relaxed, hoping to take you from behind, unaware. Simply turn around and wait for it to emerge from the other side. You should have time to procure a branch or garden tool. When the Collie shows itself, only to find you facing it, it will become alarmed and hesitate for a second or two, that's the moment you need to strike. Raise the shovel (or the tool you've chosen), and rush the animal, shouting as loud as you can; or scream, either will do as long as it's extremely loud. The Collie will raise up on its hind legs as though it wants to lick your face or give you a doggie hug, If you falter at this deception, you're doomed. Feint low and let the dog descend toward your exposed head, when the beast opens its maw, immediately drop and roll into the hind legs. the Collie has weak rear legs and will be knocked for a loop, landing on its side or back. Twist up as quickly as possible and bring your weapon down onto the Collie's head. That's it, you've won. If the Animal has survived the initial blow, give it a second, or even a third whack; however many times it takes to finish it off.  You'll have plenty of time to do this as the dog will be rendered senseless from your first assault. so don't overdo it, take a few breaths and access the situation, then finish the job once you feel refreshed.

After the job is done call Animal Control to help dispose of the carcass. If you feel up to the task, you can always dump the corpse in a river or leave it the woods to let nature take its course. This is the green option if you're into conservation. A bonfire is another method of animal disposal, but this tends to be only for someone living in a rural setting.

I've included a youtube video to familiarize you with the Collie so you'll be able to recognize the animal once encountered.

Good luck.

Luther Ranes

Next time we'll discuss how to dispatch the attacking bulldog. This is a unique attack pattern I think you'll find very interesting.



11 comments:

  1. Collies are maybe the gentlest breed of dog and they don't produce "froth." If you have to write an article of how to defend yourself from dog attack why not write about pit bulls or rottweilers? Are you afraid of them? If this isn't a joke you should be arrested.

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  2. I'm not encouraging animal abuse, I'm simply suggesting methods of self defense. I abhor violence in any form, be it toward human or animal. This is strictly precautionary. We will discuss the dogs you suggested in later installments. Thank you for your comment, however misguided.

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  3. I read your blog and you have a lot of queer ideas, fella.

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    1. Well, history shows that queer ideas are usually met with negative response.

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  4. If you don't mind getting bit a little you can totally immobile a big dog using wrestling holds like the crossface chickenwing. Once you've held them in place for a while they realize you're the boss and will submit. You might even become friends after!

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  5. I've been around dogs my whole life and never once had to defend myself.

    How about advice on defending yourself from a degenerate human?

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    1. An excellent idea. I've been mulling this very thing; a post on self defense against undisciplined teenagers. I hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you for you input, Digger.

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  6. My decision to post about canine attack is due to the fact that I've been attacked on numerous occasions by several different breeds of dog. I noticed a trend, i successfully defended myself in each instance; dispatching the canine without harm to myself. I only wished to impart my wisdom and experience to those who've suffered at the paws of this sometimes vicious animal.

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  7. you do not look like brothers.

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  8. For someone who loves to share his opinion on other blogs you sure are a jackass. Here's and idea, go stuff you're beaker where the sun don't shine.

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    Replies
    1. If you prefer to remain in the dark ages, that's your business. If you want to learn about scientific fact, stay tuned, there's more to come.

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