Defeating the Attacking Dog Part 2: The Bull Dog.

The Bull Dog is probably in the top three when it comes to aggressive attack dogs. I've encountered two, a black one and a white one, both equally fearsome in their unwarranted attack. In each instance both animals performed complicated physical displays before their attack, though they differed significantly. The white dog sneezed repeatedly, coating the ground with a thick, slippery slobber, and proceeded to race around on the coated surface, snapping at its own coiled lump of a tail. As it spun in circles, its ass began to get away from it and slide outward, the beast tried to correct this with a massive burst from its front legs, but it ended up in a wild belly spin that sent it careening into a drinking fountain. I fell upon it immediately, wrapping my shirt around its throat and choking it unconscious. The dog fought wildly, and the thick folds of skin on his face made it difficult to hold on, but it wasn't as strong as you'd expect. It was really weak, actually. I pressed its flat, wrinkly face into the asphalt until it was asleep, bundled it up, and drove it to the Daisy Hill Dog Pound and dropped it off with Curtis Bailey, a buddy of mine from community college. I asked him to make sure the dog wasn't adopted and was put down humanely after it's one week waiting period. I also paid for a round of shots and had its teeth cleaned. It was the least I could do.

 The black bulldog attacked me around eight months later, and his defeat was so easy I contemplated not mentioning it in this entry. I was mailing a letter and the dog popped out from the box where I was dropping my post; it barked, and stared at me with its head cocked to the side. Startled, my heart beating a hundred miles per hour, I dropped to one knee and called to the animal, pretending to be its owner. The dog jumped from the box, trotted over to me, completely fooled, and allowed me to pet it for a minute. I don't have to tell you that I was very nervous, this dog had a look about it that I can't put into words. It kept staring at the front of the post office and then back to me. So, with some trepidation, I led it to my car, coaxed it to jump into the front seat, belted it in, and started driving. I drove east for around an hour and fifteen minutes, one eye on the road and one eye on the bulldog. Luckily he fell asleep about forty minutes in, so I calmed a tad. I stopped just outside the Foreman Dam, grabbed my coat and hopped out. It was winter and I was freezing my ass off, so I hurriedly grabbed the sleeping bulldog and set it on a bed of pine needles. It woke up as I was getting ready to jump back in the car, so I hustled into my seat and slammed the door. I was worried about an attack out this far, medical attention would be hard to come by. The drive home was uneventful.

In part three I'll tell you how to beat a German Sheppard all out blitzkrieg. I almost lost this one, but it extended itself too far, and was stopped cold in its tracks.

-Luther

Defeating the Attacking Dog Part 1: The Collie

Sometimes dogs attack, and I'm going to tell you how to win the battle against an aggressive canine no matter what the breed; and I'm going to tell you how to do it nearly bare-handed.

There are tell-tale signs a canine reveals just before the attack, and you need to know these signs if you have any hope of success in defending against it. When a dog foams at the mouth, it's going to attack; when a dog scratches at the ground, staring menacingly into your eyes, it's going to attack; when a dog howls at the moon, it's going to attack; when a dog barks at you, it's going to attack; and when a dog sniffs the air in your direction, it's going to attack.

First, we're going to look at the attacking Collie and the techniques it implements during the attack. A Collie is a breed covered in a thick coat of down like fur; don't be fooled by this soft, fuzzy facade. A Collie, beneath the cuddly exterior, is an animal quivering with thick muscle and reinforced bone that can be used to savage it's victim in a matter of seconds. The Collie usually foams at the mouth before it attacks, this is due to its diet of mostly milk proteins. the proteins gurgle to the surface when a Collie becomes enraged, producing a milky froth that surrounds the animal's muzzle. If you keep your wits about you, you'll have no problem stopping the animal before it can clamp it's jaws around your throat.

The Collie will first dart away from you after it produces it's froth, giving you the sense that the animal is retreating. It will circle around the house after you've relaxed, hoping to take you from behind, unaware. Simply turn around and wait for it to emerge from the other side. You should have time to procure a branch or garden tool. When the Collie shows itself, only to find you facing it, it will become alarmed and hesitate for a second or two, that's the moment you need to strike. Raise the shovel (or the tool you've chosen), and rush the animal, shouting as loud as you can; or scream, either will do as long as it's extremely loud. The Collie will raise up on its hind legs as though it wants to lick your face or give you a doggie hug, If you falter at this deception, you're doomed. Feint low and let the dog descend toward your exposed head, when the beast opens its maw, immediately drop and roll into the hind legs. the Collie has weak rear legs and will be knocked for a loop, landing on its side or back. Twist up as quickly as possible and bring your weapon down onto the Collie's head. That's it, you've won. If the Animal has survived the initial blow, give it a second, or even a third whack; however many times it takes to finish it off.  You'll have plenty of time to do this as the dog will be rendered senseless from your first assault. so don't overdo it, take a few breaths and access the situation, then finish the job once you feel refreshed.

After the job is done call Animal Control to help dispose of the carcass. If you feel up to the task, you can always dump the corpse in a river or leave it the woods to let nature take its course. This is the green option if you're into conservation. A bonfire is another method of animal disposal, but this tends to be only for someone living in a rural setting.

I've included a youtube video to familiarize you with the Collie so you'll be able to recognize the animal once encountered.

Good luck.

Luther Ranes

Next time we'll discuss how to dispatch the attacking bulldog. This is a unique attack pattern I think you'll find very interesting.